Hello and Goodbye, New York

It's really interesting to see the several blogs I've attempted over the past couple of years, and to try to comprehend why they never got past a certain point. One was for discussing my writing block, which emblematically has the least amount of posts. I then thought maybe I needed to have a blog oriented around my work, until it occurred to me that my job is best suited as a sphere outside of my personal. Then I figured that queerness and polyness was something I would want to address, but after seeing the wealth of queer, butch, femme, poly, fat-positive, kinky, perverted, sex-subversive blogs out there, I've realized that the body-radical world is something I enjoy immersing myself in, though may not have such a manifesto to address.

So the premise of this blog is something I'm realizing fits me right now, largely because it has a particular arc. This is me saying goodbye to New York, THE city in the mind's eye of my entire life. My family is from Brooklyn, and a reverence, pride and arrogance in being associated with "the best city on earth" was an expectation throughout the region. You don't have state pride or region pride, you have city-pride, even if you reside in the 'burbs.

To give credit where credit is due, the idea for this blog was sparked by my partner's aunt. We had driven across the country in 8 days, and I was discussing with her how while my partner was moving to San Francisco now, I knew I needed one more year in New York before making the treck myself. To this she suggested a blog, and I'm running with it.

So here it is, Making it Count. I admit that the blog name is inspired by a source a previous form of myself would be embarassed to admit, but it's just so beautifully cheesy some of you may recognize it. I watched "Titanic" recently with my roommates, largely because it was what one put on in our common room, and "Making it Count" is a key idiom from the film where Jack wins Rose's heart with the promise of living each day to the fullest (of course threading into the story's foreshadowing that they really only had a day or so left). It's Hollywood, it's over the top, and everyone was sick of that movie before it left the theaters 5 million months after it came out, but I dare not cast away a nugget of wisdom because the packaging is film industry cheese.

I have a year left (maybe more like 9-11 months, depending) left in this city, and this blog acts as a reminder to Making it Count. My partner is in San Francisco, my mind is on her often, I'm jaded with New York, I have the impulse to leave and never come back, but I know that the best course of action is to stay still for a bit in the city that demands you remain in motion. I've done a lot in the 3 years I've had so far here, and there are parts I wish went differently, while others I never previously dreamed to be so beautiful. My time with New York will soon end, but there are things to finish here and reconcile, and I consider this time my personal exercise in being present. Being where I am when I am there. There's a lot to Buddhist practice and yoga that I have been threading into my life that really suits this exercise and I really look forward to experiencing, again, all I have here (rather than indulging my previous impulse to run). So join me if you will in seeing New York anew, in saying farewell to it, likely for good, and doing my best to being where I am and Making it Count.

- D